Looking Back On Memories And Looking Forward To What Awaits

Looking Back On Memories And Looking Forward To What Awaits

After so long abandoning this space of mine, I can't find words to start writing again though actually, I have so much to write about. Pardon me if this post is nothing more than just a writing practice to get back on track again as I'm gonna just randomly write whatever I think at the moment.

As an annual activity, looking back to last year events would help me to plan to improve whatever life has to offer for the next year. With that, a lot has happened in the span of 12 months in the year 2020 especially with the new-normal life we're living with Covid-19 among us. I'm sure Covid-19 affected people differently and to me, it has affected my mental health.

I don't really know what triggered me but I had a mental breakdown with suicidal thoughts for about two weeks. It's really hard to describe the feeling I had at that time. Things happened, I was exhausted, lethargic and depressed, thus it hit me. I cried almost every night, searching for the purpose to keep living and I keep questioning of my existence. As days went by I slowly overcame it, I don't even know how I did it but I'm glad I did. It was an awful experience and it drained my energy. As I didn't actually do something about it, I know it can hit me again. But next time, I hope I could handle it better.

As we couldn't travel freely and I'm quite afraid to take the risk to travel anyway, I spent my time (of course, and money) to staycation instead. I found that staycation helped me to get things off my mind too. I think I've covered all the hotels in Ipoh and I would love to share a review on all the hotels. This would take some time as I'm still not in the mood.

I'm really really struggling to juggle between working, studying and hobby-ing. I found myself exhausted everyday till I fell into depression. It is so so hard to be disciplined and to manage my time efficiently. I plan to do a daily schedule I should follow so I would do my works consistently. This, however, is something I'm not confident with myself.

Stepping into 2021, here are the main resolutions I wish to achieve by the end of the year;
  • Maintaining my CGPA at least at 3.5
  • Write on this blog at least 2 posts per month
  • Write on my journal
  • Getting my ideal weight by the end of the year (45kg)

By the way, it's my birthday today (30th January). It's a coincidence that I decided to write again on this blog on my birthday but I would love to consider it as a special coincidence. As a grown-up, I never look forward to my birthday, I've been spent it like any normal day anyway. But just a simple birthday wish; being 28, I hope for better days ahead for me, achieving success at whatever I do. Please pray for me, I'll pray for you too.

Till then,
Lya.

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17 Comments

  1. Hello Lya! I hope you're having a wonderful, well-rested Sunday! And happy belated birthday! Really sorry that 2020 was such a tough year for you. I'm glad you still have that strength to get through to 2021. May this year be even kinder to you. Lots of love! ❤️❤️❤️

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  2. assalamualaikum Lya, i hope you're doing well now. i hope it is not too late to wish you a happy birthday and may ALLAH bless you and ease everything for you :)

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  3. Happy belated birthday. Just stopping here.

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  4. Happy belated birthday, Lya. May Allah shower His endless blessings upon you, insya Allah. And moga kuat selalu.

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  5. hepi belated birthday., stay home ;p

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  6. Happy Belated Birthday to you. And like you, I never look forward for my bday because I know no one is going to remember anyway. I was just lucky last year that my sister remembers it and that's that. I normally spend my bday just locked inside my room and sleep.

    It's okay, take all the time you need. When you feel to write again, do it. Everyone go through that phase. Chin up 💪🏻

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    1. Sometimes I do miss celebrating my birthday like when I was a kid. But yeah, life must go on and adulting means, to don't care about your birthday.
      Anyway thank you for the kind wish Tqa :)

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  7. And I wish you to always be granted with happiness and contentment :) It's late, but Happy Birthday, Lya! I miss you a lot! (ps: me myself has been away from this platform for such a long time :'))

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    1. Thank you! I miss you too! I miss the blogosphere. But 'miss' is the only word I keep saying, but I still too occupied to spend time on this medium, lol. Hopefully, I'll be back here again soon!

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  8. Assalammualaikum Lya, Harap semuanya baik-baik sahaja. Tiada masalah yang tidak dapat diselesaikan. Banyakkan bersabar dan doa yang baik-baik. InSyaAllah akan datang yang baik-baik juga.

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  9. i don't know..but at some point pon I pernah terfikir dulu masa zaman study dulu

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    1. Zaman study memang agak struggle with mental health..

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