Thought I would end my blog post by the previous post (My Journey | 2017) but somehow I think I must post this drawing 'cause I won't draw anything if I were to post this one next month. So yea, I hope my awkward, rough sketch is good enough to please your eyes and happy upcoming new year!

Till then,

Lya.

It feels like it was only yesterday that I turned the first page of January 2017 and now it all has passed by just in a blink of an eye. Ending 2017 in a few days, I realized that it was one hell of a ride, there were ups and downs into getting through the year. As typical as it could be, here is a post of my 2017 wrap up I want to share with you guys.

Work
I started the year with a heartbreaking news of ending my 1 year and 3 months job as an assistant architect in Kangar because of the company wanted to cut down on staff and newly-est hired employee like me was the target. It surely wasn't easy to get a new job, I had to join SL1M program and was employed as an assistant architect in Kulim. Then I guess luck was on my side that after 3 months in Kulim, I got the offer to work in the government sector in Ipoh, my current job. It started off as an awkward experience but eventually I can adapt myself.

Blogging
The blog had its ups and downs throughout the year too as I sometimes didn't update for months, breaking my promise to update the blog regularly. But rather than having the need to update while I'm not in the mood and produce a shitty post, I think it's better to not update at all as long as I don't abandon the blog. To do that, I finally changed my domain name to (dot)com, what I've wanted to do for a long time ago. By changing the domain name, I could tick off my bucket list, yay!

Interviews
I went to a total of two job interviews, one interview for Master study and I passed Pegawai Tadbir dan Diplomatik (PTD) online examination. I promised to write about my experiences but somehow they were delayed as my lazy ass fingers not wanting to write about them yet. I will do it in the near future, hoping to help you guys get a glimpse of how the interview would go if you were to attend it.

Social Life
I had no friends while I was in Kangar, it was a very lonely year I've been through. Then I got new friends from SL1M program and I love these guys, Anis, Jiha, Alia, Sham, Zul and Faruq. The moment I got the job in Ipoh, I didn't expect to reunite with my high school and uni friends, they are lovely, accompanying me for dinner from time to time. Also not to forget my new clique from work, we even went hiking and camping together, I seriously didn't expect us to be that close, though. I guess I'm not lonely anymore.

2017 was the second year I had to spend for duit Raya during Eid celebration. This time, I gave duit Raya to my parents too and I think it was the proudest moment I've had in my life. In February, my same age cousin got married. It felt surreal at that time, and I was quite jealous because he got married before me but now I can't wait for a nephew/niece. Dear cousin, please get pregnant!
Finally, it was heartbreaking to receive the news that my grandpa was sick, he got a stroke and currently can't speak or move properly. My grandpa was healthy, never had any sickness so the news surely was unexpected. My parents went back to Terengganu to visit him, and they said grandpa was getting better. Hopefully, he'll get well soon, and I can't wait to visit him. Please pray for my grandpa's health guys.

Love Life
Guess I don't need it.

Of course there were a lot more happened in 2017 but I'll just stop here. Some ended the year with a happy vibe and some with a broken heart. Despite whatever you're having in these few days, hopefully 2018 will be a better year for you, for us all!

So how was your 2017?

Till then,
Lya.

I grew up listening to Linkin Park, they had been one of my favourite bands. Though their latest album sounds so different from their original identity, I love it so much, I still think that they are the same Linkin Park. I remembered that I was devastated the moment I heard about the death of the vocalist, Chester Bennington. He took his own life, revealing that he had depression despite having a happy family and plastered smile on his face all the time.

Then the news broke out about the death of the main vocalist of SHINee, Kim Jonghyun. SHINee is one of the most popular K-pop group worldwide. Just like Chester, Jonghyun suffered from depression and decided to take his own life. I'm not a fan of SHINee but I did feel sad receiving the news just as bad as I heard about Chester's death.

This reveals that fame and money aren't everything and even having a loving family couldn't help someone who suffered from depression. It's a deadly disease and we must be aware of our dear ones who might be in hard times. I don't know much about depression but I did read that we shouldn't take the words "I want to die" as a joke as someone who has suicidal thoughts often reveal these words before actually doing it. 

That's that. I'm writing about Jonghyun not because I want to mourn his death nor to raise awareness about depression but some issues regarding the candlelight vigil held by his fans which was happened last Thursday near Dataran Merdeka (read here). The moment I read about the initial plan on Twitter by some of the fans, I started to worry about issues that might occur during and after the event. Fortunately, nothing happened during the event but here are some post-event issues I want to highlight.

The Media

We could read on various tabloids and online newspapers covering about the event. They reported that there were more than 100 fans gathered rather than only 20 fans during the initial plan on Twitter I've read. Honestly, there's nothing wrong with their write up, just a nice, simple article emphasizing the love of Jonghyun's fans which made the event happened. 

But, the main photo on the articles shows Muslim girls whereas actually majority of the fans who were at the event were Non-Muslim. None of the photos they took shows the exact ratio of the fans attended the event, they were too focused on few Muslim girls instead. Even the video that went viral was when a Muslim girl reading her letter to Jonghyun, not a Chinese nor Indian girl. Why no photos of a group of Chinese or Indians? What are their motives? Why initiate the hate?

Hate Comments

The one topic that I could relate to by photos of Muslim fans being the main focus of the event is religion. By revealing these few Muslim girls attended the event, we know that there were Muslims joined the event and Netizens, of course, started to bash and condemn these girls for being too fanatic and joining a haram ritual. I'm not defending the girls but words like "betina Melayu bangang pakai tudung buat malu, over dari kafir" is way more disgusting. It's okay if you just want to point out what's halal and haram to do but using foul languages and cursing the girls is not the way of a good advice and it shows that you too are not a good Muslim.

Muslim fans

Dear Muslim fans, be if you're a girl or a boy, I know the love we have for our idol is beyond what others could tell and it's normal to feel such grief for losing him but as a Muslim, we must know our limit and such event is forbidden for us as it is a practice of other faiths. Let's just cry tepi bucu katil je, okay? Here's a secret: I did cry a bit watching Jonghyun's old videos teehee.

Did you feel devastated when your favourite artist died too?

Spread love, not hate.

Till then,

Lya

I couldn't remember how nervous I am the very first time I had to talk in front of a crowd which maybe it was years ago when I was in primary school, but I'm pretty sure that I was very nervous to the point that I peed myself. Or maybe I wasn't nervous at all but I talked nonsense playfully instead. 

Despite these speculations, I was among the top public speaker during my primary school days. I entered and won several storytelling competitions and I joined various groups such as choir and choral speaking. The same goes when I entered high school, I was a member of the school debate team and we won a few competitions. Being that good, I'm sure I entered such competitions with confidence, fluent in talking about my points and most importantly, my voice wasn't shaking one bit.

And then came the time I entered university life. As I mentioned before here, I wasn't an excellent student during my study days, I'm far from average. I remembered having very low self-esteem because of my lacking design skills compared to other students during a presentation and the fierce lecturers weren't helping at all. 

The worry that I might say something wrong or how the crowd, especially the lecturers, might condemn my presentation, my voice started shaking. The whole 4 years of my study days, I have shaking voice every time I did a presentation in front of a crowd and I felt awful when I ended the presentation because I knew I could do better. Since then, I think I have a problem, a fear of presenting in front of a crowd.

Then I started working life but I never had a problem with my voice during job interviews because it's only a Q&A session and there are only a few panels, the same goes when I had my MUET test. So everything was perfect, I thought I would never have to do presentations anymore. Little did I know, the moment I accepted the offer of my current job, I would have to face my fear again.

The was one time I had to replace my boss, presenting paperwork to the higher-ups. I knew the moment I hold the mic that my voice would shake. I started to tremble and there goes my shaking voice through the loud and clear mic. Fortunately, it wasn't long, maybe a few minutes and then my voice was back to normal. My colleague assured me that the higher-ups weren't disturbed by my shaking voice during the presentation and I felt relieved. 

From that moment, I was hoping that I would never do any presentations again but there goes my luck. This coming week, I had to replace my boss, again, presenting a module to students from a university who are coming to visit the company. The thing is, there would be a total of 4 lecturers and 66 students, the biggest crowd I ever had and the so-called conference would be held in a lecture hall. I started to tremble the moment I heard the news and I couldn't stop practising until today.

Wish me luck guys, and I would appreciate it if you guys have tips on how to control my shaking voice, just drop them in the comment below. Help me!

Till then,

Lya.

Time flies so fast I didn't realise that I've been away from the blogosphere for two months already. I didn't even write much in the past 6 months. I do felt horrible and missed blogging at times but I just don't have the mood to write though I have plenty posts in my draft. I've been quite busy with work and spent most of my time watching K-Dramas, the dramas kept coming I couldn't stop myself teehee.

Anyway, looking forward to a brighter blogging update from me, here's an update of what I've been up to for the past months I've been away.



New Look
Thank you if you noticed the changes I've made to my blog. I got this new template a few weeks ago. I've kept my previous template since forever that I've felt bored looking at it so I decided to change it. I love how neat this template, I hope you like it too.

Oh and yay me, to finally changed my domain name which I think sounds more professional than my previous one, right? I've had the idea to change my domain name since forever and it's one of my bucket list to change it before 2018 so here it is, I did it in December, finally! Phew. I'm too lazy to do a tutorial on how to change the domain name so hit Erin's entry for your reference.

Interviews
I do have a stable job but that doesn't mean I won't stop looking for a better opportunity and gaining new experiences. Hence, I went to Suruhanjaya Perkhidmatan Awam Malaysia (SPA) interview for a job position of an architect in Kementerian Kerja Raya (KKR) and fortunately, I also secured a second stage interview for Pegawai Tadbir dan Diplomatik (PTD) which I have no idea when. Wish me luck for both, hoping I could get what's best for me. But I won't be disappointed if I didn't make it as I'm happy enough with my current job.

Watching
I've watched a few movies in cinema such as Justice League, Thor: Ragnarok, Kingsman: The Golden Circle and many more. Honestly for the past 6 months, I've spent most of my money by watching movies. Nope, not regretting it.



The latest K-Drama I've watched was 'Because This Is My First Life' and god I'm so in love with Lee Min Ki, I've missed him so much and his comeback was worth the wait. The chemistry between the two leading role were perfect though there was awkwardness here and there but that's just how the characters were meant to be. I love the plot so much and the other couples were perfect too (still having a hard time getting over it).

Listening
I love 'Dusk Till Dawn' by Zayn Malik ft Sia the very first moment I heard in on the radio. It's very rare for me to immediately fall in love in English song the first time I heard it but this song is so good I couldn't stop replay it till today. Check it out on youtube(click) if you haven't heard the song yet.
I also currently set Bobby's album as my lullaby. I love the whole album, especially the song 'tendae'(click). It's the first time I hear him singing as he's actually a rapper. I actually didn't expect him to be good at singing, I love his manly, husky voice so much.

Reading
Didn't do any. Teehee.

I really hope with the new domain name and the new look I got for my blog, I wouldn't abandon this blog again and keeping back to the momentum I once had. Not that blogging became a pressure to me but solely because it is what makes me happy the most. Though I don't know what to write but I find by writing, I have the time of my life.

So, what have you guys been up to for the past months? Oh, I'll find out through your writings.

Till then,
Lya.