Twenty-Five and Single - La Scrittura Street

June 19, 2018

Twenty-Five and Single


"You're a woman now, when are you getting married?"

"You're so pretty, don't you have a boyfriend? Why?" -does it sound too unbelievable when I say no, I don't have a boyfriend? because they kept saying that I'm lying.

A typical grown-up lady who is still single like me would get a lot of questions on boyfriends and marriage around this time during Eid as we're meeting relatives who we rarely met. Another friend of mine also got hitched during Eid and I could see friends who were married earlier even brought along their children to the wedding. At this sight and stressful marriage questions, again and again, I started to ask myself, 'is marriage an achievement in life that people kept pushing me to do it?' which leads to the question, 'am I so not attractive that no boys wanted to approach me?'

My last relationship was when I was 18 years old and that was 7 years ago. Being a girl, obviously, I don't really have the upper hand in finding a partner. Men could start the move on a girl and considered cool even if the girl rejected him but a girl, on the other hand, might get a lifetime embarrassment if being rejected, or at least that's what I've felt -yeap, I once confessed to a boy and I was being humiliated by that a-hole. To be in love, to have a partner in life is a natural desire of a human being and not having that for 7 years then being asked "why don't you have a boyfriend yet" really pissed me off. Erm, because no boys wanted me? Duh.

No one would want to end up not being married, or maybe if he/she really doesn't want to get married, believe me, he/she still want to have a partner whom they could have a conversation with about the weather for a daily routine. So honestly, to a twenty-five years old single lady like me who'd like to get married and has so many friends that got married already, such questions are very sensitive.

Here's an honest thought; I might sometimes feel lonely having no boyfriend but actually, I have no problem being single. I'm currently enjoying myself to the fullest being single, having the freedom to wake up in the morning as whenever I want, doesn't have to do the cooking which I hate the most, to go anywhere I want and do whatever I want to do without someone monitoring and controlling my life. I also do have close friends who are still single so I still have someone to talk to at 2:00am -couldn't imagine what'd happen when even they got married, sobs.

Maybe it's because I don't have a boyfriend yet but to me, marriage would always, always be the last thing I wanted to do in my life and maybe in ten years time, I'll publish a post entitled, "Thirty-Five and Still Single"? Anyway, I hope people could stop asking me such questions. To some, maybe it's just a simple question but to me, it's annoyingly made me feel like I'm such a loser so I hate it.

Soz not soz for this post is getting nowhere and it's just me ranting about what I feel.

Till then,
Lya.

28 comments:

  1. May you will meet the right person soon. Come and visit my blog
    https://thisisme-38.blogspot.com/2018/06/new-phase.html

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    1. Thanks dear, I will 😊

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  2. I married at 35. And have friends who still single at 40s. Keep looking the right one because married life is a gamble. Trust me.

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    1. Such comforting words, thanks I needed this too 😭

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  3. I can feel you sis. But you know what, f*** it.

    My goal rn is to be that rich single 35 y/o aunt who's gonna be giving the highest amount of duit raya to my nieces and nephews 10 years from now haha

    I wish you all the best in life, fighting! :3

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    1. Ikr! Being rich on my own would be my goal too. Let's strive for it together 😊

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  4. Guess how old am i now i am still not married :(
    not having someone attached aka having a boyfriend is not a problem for me because i am used to do everything & go anywhere myself.

    sometimes bila tgk org yg dah kawin ni cam struggle sgt so i better enjoy being single hehe

    but sometimes when you are around my age you will feel a bit lonely but not too much as long if you have friends & family around.

    https://atheeradayana.com

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    1. Yeah I don't have any problem being single too, just sometimes it does feel a bit lonely especially when you were having a very bad day but then realized you have nobody to rant about it to. I started to feel that way since I started working and living by myself for the past two years and that's why such questions are sensitive to me hee

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  5. I kinda know how it feels since I'm single since birth. lol! Which is why I'm kinda glad albeit a lil bit sad that I'm away from home this festive season.

    But it's okay. Let's us enjoy our single life and achieve everything that we're aiming for, for now :)

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    1. Yeap, let's just move on and enjoy being single for now ;)

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  6. The right person will come at the right time. Be patient and Allah will be with us. Those question never affected me lately before because I usually think that is just a conversation starter. Just answer sincerely or the most polite thing we can do is ask them for their prayer (they will give it if they ever meant it) or just smile and leave them with question mark.

    never ever think that was a question to humiliate anyone. think it as a conversation starter, usually these kind of makcik were looking for someone for their own children. hehehe. manatahu jodoh. who knows right?

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    1. Of course, I do answers them with the most sincere smile I could give despite how annoying I feel because yes, I understand that it's a conversation starter as we've never been in touch but meeting each other only on such occasions ;)

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  7. To be married is not an achievement in life, it's just the nature of life.. I faced the same problem as you and it's worst due to my huge size.. But let me tell you something.. All of my sisters were married at late 20 and even my eldest sister found her "jodoh" at 36... Some of those onion aunts even expected me to at least, already met someone but my sister made me realized a thing... They didn't bother of marriage till they achieved 4 things: owning a house, owning a car, serve your parents at your best because you could hardly perform that once you're married and lastly, stabilize your own life.. :D

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    1. "Some of those onion aunts even expected me to at least, already met someone" this is what upset me when such questions being asked. I won't think much for not having a boyfriend but such questions like "seriously you don't have a boyfriend?" sometimes made me feel like a loser and made me think like "is it so wrong that no one approach me?" yeah, I'm trying to ignore such feeling and just strive to achieve my dream instead ;)

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  8. There's a saying, onion gotta be onion. Hahaha. It's a never ending question. When to get boyfriend, when to get married, when to have baby, when to have second baby. Ugh all those questions just boils me up. We all live in our own timeline and our life journey are all different. It's not being married or being single yang determine our happiness.

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    1. "onion gotta be onion" is such a funny and relieving saying for this situation. yeap, being married or single don't determine our happiness ;)

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  9. first time terjah blog Lya. done follow u, dik :)

    It is not wrong if we love our single life. yes, correct. live life to the fullest. akak still have bffs who are still single at the age of 40. they are happy. boleh tgk and attend to their parents everyday. working. holiday. we, as their friends never questioned why they are still unmarried. yes, kita pompuan. takkan nak propose lelaki plak, right? believe me. percaya kpd ketentuan Allah. when? who? keep praying agar diketemukan dgn lelaki yg baik, lya.

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    1. yeap, currently just doing my best to live my life to the fullest while still being single. thank you for following me ;)

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  10. HAAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAAHHAHAAAHAHAHAA. Ex pun dah kahwin. πŸ˜‚

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  11. its okay hun.. enjoy your single days tak perlu pening kepala. the time will come if Allah dah aturkan. im 28 and single and i love it.

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    1. Yeap, kita cuma perlu bertahan je dengar soalan-soalan macam ni, our time will come eventually kan :)

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  12. jodoh tu nnt dtg kita yg segan plak taw nk sorok muka hihi

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    1. Hihi itu lah kadang-kadang rasa tak sabar nak jumpa jodoh, kadang-kadang rasa taknak lah, macam awal lagi nak jumpa

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  13. Single life is good lol. No people tying you up and you're free of responsibility that married people have.

    But I still want to get married someday but no calon. Sho sad.

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    1. I sometimes feel like not to get married at all hahah but what could the future holds for us, we'll never know ;)

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