How To Heal A Broken Heart?


I ended a 10 years of friendship with a guy who I had a crush on and I'm having a really hard time.

I've written about this guy in a now-deleted post before so let me just recap that back. I've known him for the past 10 years but we grew closer recently and I ended up developed a crush on him. I often hear that a guy and a girl can never be friends because eventually one of them will have the feeling, but I didn't believe that at first. Just look at us, we managed to have a strong 9 years of friendship without such feeling, well, until I failed to control my heart on our 10th year. So, since he didn't feel the same, and I want to stop my feeling from growing, I decided that we should stop being friends. So we did.

And it broke my heart. It hurts. So much.

I'm that kind of a girl who would push away any man who wanted to get to know me so never in my right mind that I thought I would be having this phase of life, having this feeling of rejection, of pain, I didn't even want to. Because at 26 years old, I think I'm old enough to NOT having this, I think this unnecessary feeling would be wasting my time. But who am I to deny what had written for me.

During my study days, I used to mock friends who were depressed and failed to focus on their studies, some even repeated the semester when they went through breakups with their boyfriends. I used to question why would you cry, why ruin your life just because of a man, it's not worth it. But when it happened to me, I realized the pain was so severe and it's so hard to handle.

It's my first time my heart broke because of a guy so I have no idea how to manage this feeling. It's interfering with my everyday work, I cannot focus though works piled up in the office. It's disturbing my emotions, a friend who I didn't even tell about this once asked, "why do I feel like you're not your cheerful self lately?". It's just hurting me.

I'm trying to find a cure. I make myself busy, I find extra works if I'm free. I make my days full of activities, I go out more often. I pray more earnestly, asking for God's help to lessen the pain, to erase it. But it's still so hard as I've shared so many things with the guy which made every single thing I do, reminded me of him. It's still so hard when the night time comes as I'll be left alone again, the feeling comes kicking again along with the endless crying till I fall asleep. It's just so hard.

So if you've experienced the same thing, share with me what makes you moved on? I really need the tips.

Till then,
Lya.

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16 Comments

  1. nice sharing... hati yg sakit lama2 inshaAllah akan baik juga.. MASA adalah ubatnya.... anyway 1st time dtg sini, done follow lya punya blog.. ada masa jemput singgah n followback TQ

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    1. yeap, cuma masa je yang boleh stop the pain, one day. Thank you!

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  2. Broken heart really hurt so much.. I feel you.. :(

    Sy pun pernah putus cinta juga di usia yg sgat muda.. Jiwa remaja gitu. Moving on is not easy but not impossible juga.. It takes about more than 3 years for me to forget him until one day I met someone new. Apabila dah dapat lupakan bf lama tu .. yg lelaki baru nie pula hubungan kami tak direstui sdgkan kami dah bercinta almost 3 years.. And it's broke my heart even more until I really feel nothing about guy anymore..

    Pendapat peribadi, cara utk move on jgan bersendirian, sbb bila sendiri fikiran akan teringatkan masa2 indah dgn dia. Byak luangkan masa dgn kerja dan berdoa. Mmg susah tapi x mustahil. Dan maafkan diri sendiri dan dia sepanjang berkenalan. Don't blame yourself why this is happening, why you must met him but at the end you getting hurt. Semuanya ada hikmah, cuma hikmah tu kita x nampak skrg.

    When you move on trust me, you will thank to ALLAH for everything.

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    1. Welp, it's my first time so susah nak handle sebenarnya, I just don't know how.
      Anyway this is a very wise advice indeed, thank you!

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  3. I've never been in any serious relationship so I don't know a thing. but reading this made me feel sad that you have to go through it. i hope you'll feel better soon. if anything , writing helps me going through things.

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    1. Indeed, writing my heart out somehow helps. The perks of loving to write, I guess, hiks ;)
      Thank you for your kind wish anyway!

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  4. Make yourself busy with life. Always remind yourself that a right person will come in the right time. It is possible the right person is him, but not in the right time yet. Cheer up! :)

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  5. find someone that you really comfortable and tell her/him everything. if you want to cry just let it out. lagi kita simpan sesorang kita lagi pikir benda tu actually. stay strong girl! i know you can :)

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    1. I'm glad I'm surrounded by friends who I can talk to, so I was never alone actually. Thank you for your supportive words ;)

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  6. gosh i'm so sorry girl.. be strong ok! x

    http://www.erinazmir.com

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  7. be strong girl, may ALLAH ease everything for you <3
    do something you love, make yourself busy and live a life :)

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    1. "Live a life" is a strong quote. Thanks BV!

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  8. Be strong ok! From my experience, it didn't really took me long time to forget what happen. Find something new, focus on that. be with your family & friends.
    Cheer up!

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    1. Will do, thank you for the lovely advice and well wishes :)

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